Poems for Gaza

I am not Palestinian. My only link to Palestine is reading about the atrocities and suffering of its people, and especially its children. Nevertheless, I feel for the people of Palestine and often find myself worrying about the little girls living in Gaza, spending their childhood under the threat of bombs. I also worry that they might not have friends or family to guide, teach and help them grow.

My preoccupation with these young girls is largely due to my own childhood spent in isolation and solitude; my parents were divorcing and I had nobody to count on. I had questions to ask, but there was nobody to answer them. I was angry, but there was nobody to notice. Then I discovered poetry and art. I wish the heroines in my poems, surrounded and trapped by war, would learn to embrace art as their close friend.

Sha Najak, Fantasy, 2009 | Acrylic

ABANDONED She looked out the window Abandoned by the receding tide of war Only her memory is dead She looked away sobbing for herself Closing her eyes, listening to the low hum-hum of silence DREAMING For she had sung War changed my life For she had danced To the killing silence For she had lived Dreaming a peaceful death

"Abandoned" does not overtly speak about hope but, rather, the gruesome reality of a human being who has experienced the trauma of war. The poem implies that when the dust of war settles, we are, ironically, left with nothing but hope.

"Dreaming" is a poetic continuation of "Abandoned" and it explores the concept of hope more clearly. In it we see the young woman who, after having gone through the traumatic experience of war, delves into a fantasy world. Her imagination is stretched as she explores peace.

My acrylic painting Fantasy expresses the two poems visually. The little heroine is lying under a tree, actively imagining her future. She is both vulnerable and aged beyond her years because she has experienced war. She gazes at the night sky and wonders about its beauty despite the darkness that surrounds her. She identifies with the moon and the stars, which she hopes to become.

New poetry

Sleeplessness
In the nights of tomorrow,
Comes the sounds of our weary bodies,
Our body clocks wildly out of synch,
Feeling slightly removed from ordinary life,
We pay greater sensitivity to our inner selves,
Inevitably unearthing what we're most comfortable with.

Countdown to zero
When I reached zero, I felt calmness that was out reach moments ago,
Before I reach zero, the day was filled immersed with thoughts,
Just as I was reaching zero, I prostrated towards the sun and thank her for another day,
Finally at zero, points of discourses became a distant past

The Existentialist

I carry on my back the worry of tomorrow

I live in existential mortality

I fear decaying before running for President

I love that one young man I cannot have

I sag like a heavy load on bad days

I explode with crust and sugar spread everywhere

I climb the staircase and stop just before reaching the top

I want my chaos to diminish overnight

I would like parents who nurture and not leave me to nature

I am here to bring your history forward

BREATHE

Today was the opening reception and conversations feed my mind greatly. I found Shubigi's write-up of the works from Bangladesh crisp.

"Sha Najak's works deals with the societal implications of foreign workers in Singapore, with an ethnographic bent. The study of one's origins and the impetus that causes migration is of particular interest to her. To leave behind the land of one's ancestors, to be absorbed into the fabric of another society are threads that are woven in the histories of most nations, and it is these resulting patterns of societal development that become the focus of her work."

- Shubigi Rao, artist


BREATHE
8-31 Aug
Jendela (Esplanade)

Iman Ismail, Jeremy Lee, Nurasyikin Hamzah, Sha Najak, Shubigi Rao and Tania Rosario
Singapore and India
08 Aug - 31 Aug 08, Fri - Sun
Jendela

In Breathe, six young artists showcase the result of their taking a step back to think, breathe and be inspired. Breathe is a fusion of their aspirations, myriad inspiration, reflections of self, expressed in their medium of choice.

im sure i'll get better with time, but in the meantime, here's some thoughts

Once we fell out
Apart but near at heart
Loving each moment when together
Madness all over
Till tomorrow we meet
Sweet dreams, best wishes my love

Stay here
Stay close
Stay forever

Mere conundrum of humans
To love is to lure is to lunacy
Giving and taking becomes one way traffic
Crucified martyrs come alive
As young as you want me to be
Back alley minions takes front stage
Love them as can be
Born into land slated for judgment
Love me then kill me quick

Not anymore no more please
Peace treaties float onto seas
Boundaries is all we see
What about you, me and community

Aged seniors bear stories
To a community of depressive junkies



Take refuge for security reasons
Bringing up babies with an baggage of an ugly truth
Wearing royalty on final days
Medusa rises in you quickly
Hang on to short ropes tight
Arrows shot, sharp with poison
Walking amidst the chaos was never a heroic choice
In money we believe
Power reserves for future alienation
Stones today, dirt tomorrow
Tears water you into a flower

Taking the MRT for the 1st time

the following is an account of Selvam who first came to Singapore from South Asia.

"The first time I arrived at the airport, I was feeling apprehensive about who was coming to receive me. Since this was my 1st time travelling, I wasn't sure about how to get the money. I also took the MRT for the very first time. My friend and so many men came together. My friend and everybody was happy but I was unhappy. During the time, there wasn't also much noise."

Durai, Kanyakummari

"My 1st employer is good but my supervisor treated me very roughly. After some days, everything was ok."

Shedding 3kg

In June, I've lost 3kg in total working solely on a diet with limited exercise. I've managed to get used to a low-carb diet and high H2O meal. With Tien's advice on increasing raw vegetables to my meals, I think it's safe to say some things did work.

I'm hoping to work out a process or regime of curbing smoking too. I've read up on hypnotherapy and apparently, it can cure smoking. I'm not sure about trying anything new much less with me not knowing or being aware of the process!

I hope to increase jogging and swimming exercises in the next month. My flabby stomach does little to my self-confidence.

For today, I've had coffee with milk in the morning, rice with sambal goreng, 2 packets of non-sweetened biscuits and another cup of coffee for the afternoon. Last night, I was guiltily devouring a packet of twisties.

There is an assessment at para-counselling class today and I'm afraid the boredom will drive me to eating again. I hope for July, I can lose 4kg instead.

I'm 67kg now, target weight will be 58. I've been seduced by Kareena Kapoor's slender figure during her performance for the Filmfare Awards 2008!